Online Dating: To Respond or Not Respond?

Gentle Readers,

From time to time, I receive questions regarding what is the right and proper way to respond to an email on a dating site when you are not interested in the person.  For example, you received a nice email from someone, but you have absolutely nothing in common with them.  While the person may seem nice — their profile is well written and the photos are decent, you’re just not feeling a connection.  Perhaps their “percent match” is not high enough for you, too.

Your quandary — what to do?  Hmmm.  “Should I ignore the person and not respond,” you ask yourself? “Or should I send a polite email letting them know they are not a “match” and wish them the best with their search for that special someone?”

There is no right or wrong answer as to whether or not you should respond.  Let me provide you with two options:

  1. You do nothing and they may go away and leave you alone. In many cases, you may think that you are being rude by not responding.  While you may think it might be the coward’s way — not facing someone and hurting their feelings, it might just be better to say nothing.
  2. Of course, the thought may cross your mind that they may really be a nice person, so you might decide to let them know you are not interested and wish them well on their search for that someone special.  In some cases, your well-meaning email may elicit a thank you, but then again, you may end up receiving a vitriolic email.  

There is no right or wrong way to turn someone down.  My suggestion to you is simple; do what you feel is right and do not feel guilty.

Do you have any rejection insights you would like to share on this topic?  Feel free to do so.

If We Only Have Love – thank you, Jacques Brel!

Gentle Readers,

It’s been quite a while — 1975, to be exact, when “Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Living in Paris”, the 1968 Off Broadway musical review, was made into a film.  I felt compelled to share my thoughts with you about love.  In light of the current world events where everyday news is depressing, I took stock of the situation and want to spread joy, light, hope, and more importantly — LOVE.  I want to do my part to help erase the fear and hatred that has become widespread.  I ask the angels, archangels, God, Goddess, Creator, guides, guardians and ancestors for their assistance. Our world and all the entities who reside need to be healthy and happy again — not living in fear and experiencing all that fear brings with it.

So many people are disillusioned, angry and/or fearful.  For those of you who are activists, keep doing what you are doing.  For those of you who do not know what to do, look at what is possible and move in that direction.  For those of you who are happy with hatred, bigotry and remain ignorant of what is really going on in the world, so be it. Perhaps you might consider acceptance and tolerance of people who are different from you.  Try a little understanding.  Yes, there are bad people (even fanatics who do harm) in the world, but by no reason should anyone lump people into the same category with others of the same race or religion beliefs.  Each person is an individual.

I believe there are two types of people — open and closed.  I am referring to minds.  There are variations and degrees of each, but for simplicity, I’d like to stick with open and closed.

Someone with a closed mind is a person who will not consider any point of view but their own.  For those who choose to remain closed to change or seeing the big picture, my prayer is that one day they wake up before things get really ugly.

Someone with an open mind is eager to learn — desires information so they can absorb it, disseminate it, process it, and understand it.  Once they have figured things out, they will decide what they want to do.

All of this leads me to Jacques Brel’s song, “If We Only Have Love.”  Please click the link from YouTube and listen closely to the words. — We can change the world with love — not fear.  Be brave, strong, open, and willing to do your part to remove fear from your life and to live fully and completely.  And if you can help others…that is a bonus.


I welcome your thoughts on this topic.  Of course, I’ll hold a good thought for you, those you love, and your efforts to make this world a better place.