Online Dating: To Respond or Not Respond?

Gentle Readers,

From time to time, I receive questions regarding what is the right and proper way to respond to an email on a dating site when you are not interested in the person.  For example, you received a nice email from someone, but you have absolutely nothing in common with them.  While the person may seem nice — their profile is well written and the photos are decent, you’re just not feeling a connection.  Perhaps their “percent match” is not high enough for you, too.

Your quandary — what to do?  Hmmm.  “Should I ignore the person and not respond,” you ask yourself? “Or should I send a polite email letting them know they are not a “match” and wish them the best with their search for that special someone?”

There is no right or wrong answer as to whether or not you should respond.  Let me provide you with two options:

  1. You do nothing and they may go away and leave you alone. In many cases, you may think that you are being rude by not responding.  While you may think it might be the coward’s way — not facing someone and hurting their feelings, it might just be better to say nothing.
  2. Of course, the thought may cross your mind that they may really be a nice person, so you might decide to let them know you are not interested and wish them well on their search for that someone special.  In some cases, your well-meaning email may elicit a thank you, but then again, you may end up receiving a vitriolic email.  

There is no right or wrong way to turn someone down.  My suggestion to you is simple; do what you feel is right and do not feel guilty.

Do you have any rejection insights you would like to share on this topic?  Feel free to do so.

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