Has someone misinterpreted your words or intentions when you sent a letter, card, text or email? Did you try to be crystal clear when you wrote it. Did you take the time you needed to choose your words carefully? If so, great! Did it blow up in your face and bite you in your bottom anyway? If it did, you are not alone.
If you are in the habit of finding someone or something to blame, or make an excuse as to why your message did not go over as you intended, stop it! Accept the fact that you do not have control over how a recipient will respond to what you wrote. If you said what you needed to say, don’t beat yourself up; just own your actions and try not to muck things up further by trying to fix the problem. Let it go.
“No Good Deed Goes Unpunished,” made immortal in the Musical “Wicked,” and the expression: ”The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions,” has some validity in real life. Then again you can just “Let it go!” Yes, The Queen of Common Sense loves musical theatre and great quotes.
Gentle Readers, I’d like to share an example of what I am talking about without breaching ethics and confidentiality.
Someone reached out to me privately several months ago — a young psychic. She gushed about how great it was to connect to me. She then added me to her phone and friended me on social media. Shortly after adding me to her phone, she texted me asking, “What should I do about your friend ______________; he keeps sending me naked pictures of himself.” I went onto FB messaging and replied, “Why did you text me on my phone about some person sending you naked pics? I’m not happy about receiving this sort of thing from you. Please be careful what you text and to whom. I’ll delete the text.” …and I did. She apologized and explained how it happened.
Regardless of how it happened, this could have been avoided if she paid attention to what she was doing when she entered names and phone numbers in her phone. I was stunned, confused, and felt that this type of text was inappropriate. In my opinion, she should have called the intended person rather than text. After the fact, that I realized that my words may have appeared condescending — especially since she had connected to me nearly two weeks earlier. Perhaps I should have just said, “You texted me something in error that I felt was inappropriate. Please know that and be careful next time. I believe I over-reacted.
When I started working events as a psychic over 35 years ago, there was no one around to explain ethics, boundaries and what a psychic or Tarot reader should tell people. There was no Internet, no cell phones and nearly everyone working was “hungry” and out for themselves, so a newbie had to make some mistakes and find their way. I did. As a result of my experiences, I try to teach people the importance of good ethics when establishing their identity as a professional reader.
While this article is basically about choosing words wisely, under the shadow of today’s Retrograde Mercury, I had another social media message encounter with the same individual a few days ago. While she had messaged me a few other times since her error with various mandalas and other items, plus promotional messages about her services, I just noted it and went about my business. However, when I received a message that was supposed to be a promo for her services which contained a variant of the F-bomb, I fell into teacher mode and the neon “ETHICS” sign went off in my head. I messaged her asking her to stop sending me stuff as I was not a client or potential client. I also identified myself to her thinking she would make the connection. I felt her response was inappropriate: “It’s just promo Ur in my list Calm down I swear. Ur attitude has always sucked Block me” She then promptly blocked me and unfriended me.
I was stunned because this young psychic used a variant of the F-bomb in her promotional mailing without screening her list to make sure her choice of verbiage would not offend people. I never asked to be friended, nor did I ask to be put on her list. I did a knee-jerk response and probably came off condescending, once again. I’ll own that. So, I guess she needed to say and do what she felt she was appropriate for her. Whether some of her clients responded to what she sent and the “F-bomb variant” is fine. I just had an issue with her emailing it to EVERYONE on her list.
The advice I offer anyone marketing their services — no matter what their profession may be, please be mindful of what you send and to whom. Make sure you have done your homework and separated your lists. Also make sure if people want to be removed from your promotional mailings that you remove them graciously.
My advice to anyone using social media is simple: “The image you present to the world today will be misinterpreted no matter what you do or say; social media can help you and hinder you. Trolls may try to destroy you. All you can do is learn to let things go, move on, and hope you do not have to do much, if any damage control. You can’t please everyone and there will always be someone out there ready, willing and able to mess with you. It’s a fact of life.
I hope this article helps you. Feel free to share and/or leave any comments as you see fit.