What planet do you live on?

Gentle Readers, I recently yelled at someone who asked me for a “romance reading.” I know it was inappropriate to do so, but my level of frustration in trying to help her, well, my emotions just got the better of me. Shall we suffice it to say that this person will never ask me for another reading, and for that, I am extremely grateful.  I think it is better that someone else deal with her in the future as this is a case where I am not the right psychic for her. I could not tell her what she wanted to hear. Let me explain what happened, and do let me know your thoughts.  I know it was wrong to “lose it,” but I did and I own that bad behavior.

Since I was  unable to hear this woman’s voice or see her face, I needed to pick up her energy.  So I asked her a few questions so I would not waste any time. She told  me  she was not in a  relationship and was not looking online.

I then asked her, “Do you get out of the house, go to meetups, dances, belongs  to any clubs like the Sierra Club (they go hiking), or go to any other places where she can meet people?”

She said did not, but wanted to know when “He was going to find her.” I was dumbfounded.  There was no way I could even pull cards for her, so I asked her her age. She told me she was 54.  The next thing I knew, I asked her if she was going to wait for someone to knock on her door like Snow White.

She replied, “Yes.”

At that point, I lost it, Dear Readers. I raised my voice and yelled at her, “What planet do you live on?  No one just comes up and knocks on your door.”

She said, “My planet.”

It was then that I immediately snapped back at her and said, “Then you are going to be alone because no one else lives on your planet. You need to live on THIS planet.” (I cannot believe I said that.)

She said, “I don’t want to be hurt.”

My next response to her was, “If you are not willing to be hurt, then you will more than likely be alone.  Even people you love — family and friends hurt one another, but they work it out.”  At that point, her time was up and she was gone.

Gentle Readers, I am human and I lost it.  My only hope is that this lady will wake up from her fantasy dream and take a chance outside her four walls.  While I wanted to do a reading for her, I just dispensed common sense. May this be the last time I encounter someone I should never read in the first place and that someone who can help will be allowed to help her.

Can you tell me who sabotaged me and got me fired?

Gentle readers,

One of my new clients asked me, “Can you tell me who went behind my back, spread lies about me, and got me fired?”

I refused to answer her question and suggested that she should be grateful she no longer works there.  To be in a position where people like to gossip, make trouble and sabotage someone’s work or reputation is unhealthy.

I told her, “If indeed someone did this to you, it was a gift.” I eventually managed to get her to see that it really didn’t matter who may have done this and to move on.  She agreed I had a good point.

I further told her, “You are wasting your time and energy obsessing about this. You should focus on making a fresh start in a healthier environment. Focus on getting a wonderful, new job and be grateful for the gift of being able to move forward.  Make this new job the best one ever!” (Think the Magician card in a Tarot deck.) Again, she agreed this was a good way to look at things.

I would never tell anyone who sabotaged them and here are the reasons why:

  1. Picking up a clean vibration when someone is angry and in pain can be tricky.
  2. Asking a psychic to blame or accuse a person of doing something bad, such as contributing to getting someone fired, does not foster good karma for anyone.
  3. Anything I pick up would be filtered through the energy of my client, so a clean link (clear vibration), as mentioned above, would not be possible.
  4. Clients who ask these types of questions have already decided who they want to blame and I would never tell someone what they want to hear.
  5. Carrying grudges and emotional pain is not a good way to live. I don’t want someone to obsess over this and lose sight of what potential they hold in their hands.
  6. Things happen and perhaps this was that her time to move on.

My objective is to best serve my clients by providing them with common sense whenever needed, and of course, using my intuitive gifts to help them.  Sometimes a good dose of common sense and empowerment is the best solution.

Gentle readers, please share your thoughts.

Ethics and Firing a Client

Gentle Readers,

Last week, I fired a client.  While I love performing readings, I know when it is time to let go.  If we let someone go and move on, we can become happier …and hopefully they will become happier, too.  This lady was a new client and her reading was through Instant Messaging.  If someone is a regular client of mine, I am able to pick up their energy from just a question or interactive typing without benefit of voice or face.  However, if I am unable to hear someone’s voice, see their face, etc. and this is my first time working with them, I must rely on a dialogue much like a therapist might.

This client asked me if I could pick up on a relationship.  So after several questions, I was able to learn that this was an ex-someone of hers.  How did I figure that out?  Follow along…

C:  Can you tell me what ________ is doing and who he is with?

Q:  Are you in an exclusive relationship with this person?

C:  No.  But I think he is seeing someone.

Q:  It’s none of your business what he is doing and with whom.  Because you are not in an exclusive relationship with him, you are not entitled to know anything.  If you were married or something like that, that would a different story.

C:  He’s my ex.

Q: Ex-husband or ex-boyfriend,, it doesn’t matter.  You still do not have any right to know what he is doing unless he chooses to tell you.

C:  Can you tell me if he’s thinking of me or what he feels about me.

Q:  I cannot do that.  I cannot ethically pick up on what someone thinks of or feels about another person. That is a violation of their thoughts and feelings.  How would you like it if he or someone else asked a psychic what you thought or felt about them.

C: That’s psychology, not psychic.  I wanted a psychic reading.

Q: When you come to me you get a little of both — and common sense.

C:  Other psychics picked up on it but they were vague.  You can’t do it.  You don’t have the ability.

Q:  You did not listen to me.  You did not hear what I said to you.  It’s not that I cannot do it, it’s that my ethics are very high and that is a violation of my ethics. I would never read someone without their permission.  If you want that, go to someone else.

C:  You are arguing with me.

Q:  No.  I’m yelling at you.  I’m also firing you as a client.  Don’t ever contact me again.

Gentle readers.  Over time, I have discovered that my ethics are becoming more and more stringent.  Some people don’t give a fig about ethics.  They only want to hear what they want to hear and there are psychics out there who are willing to do just that — tell a client what they want to hear.  My kind thought to this former client is that she is able to release her fixation on her ex and move on to find happiness with someone else.

Please share your thoughts regarding this situation?

Internet Dating — Location, Location, Location — oops, potential scammer!

Gentle Readers,

Time and time again, my online clients ask me for relationship readings.  They want to know if I can see a future with someone, specifically marriage.  Rather than do a Tarot reading for them, I just ask a few questions first, because my intuition tells me things are not quite right.  In the past, when I did Tarot readings without asking question first, the cards often showed that the relationship was extremely positive.  When that happened, I KNEW something was wrong.  Nothing is THAT good.  Usually the relationship they are asking about is someone they connected with online.

I will share a snippet from a reading I gave to someone recently to show you why location is important.

Q:  How long have you known this person?

C:  We’re just chatting right now.

Q:  You didn’t answer my question?  OK then.  How long have you been chatting?

C:  Two months.

Q:  You are asking me about someone you have been chatting with for two months?  Have you met this person yet?

C:  Well no.

Q:  How far away does he live?

C:  He lives in Florida.

Q:  You did not answer my question.  So he lives in Florida.  And where do you live?

C:  In North Dakota, but if everything works out he’ll move to North Dakota.

Q:  Have you met him yet?

C:  Well, no.

Q:  Have you at least spoken to this person or SKYPED?

C:  No.  He doesn’t know how to SKYPE.  He’s 48.

Q:  He’s 48 and doesn’t know how to SKYPE?  I’m older than he is and I know how to SKYPE. He’s a scammer or a potential scammer.

Gentle Readers, without revealing more of this person’s reading, let me share a recommendation with you should you use or consider using the Internet to find someone to date.

I recommend only choosing or responding to prospective partners if they live within a one-hour drive (with or without traffic) from where you live.  The main reason for “dating” is to find someone that you can spend time with and get to know.  Online chatting, texting, etc. does not count.  One must take the time necessary to get to know someone and that should be in person supplemented with telephone calls.  While The Queen is somewhat traditional, do know traditional values do count.  The objective of finding someone, whether you use the Internet or some other method, is to find someone who lives close enough to you so your life is not disrupted.  If the stars align, or you really do find someone to love, you want to wake up next to them. Relationships are difficult and long-distance relationships are even more difficult.  Think about it?

If someone from another state or country, (and in some cases, military personnel) contacts you on a dating site, just remember location, location, location.  Of course, you can always contact me for additional insight.  Common sense first…

Soulmate questions

Gentle readers,

I’d like to share with you a few questions I received over the years regarding meeting a soul mate.  While we have many soul mates and may meet a few in our life time, this does not necessarily mean we are destined to spend our life with them — happily ever after.  That is a bit of a stretch, especially if we just met them.  It takes time to get to know someone.  Too many people are searching for amazing chemistry, which often burns out as quickly as it begins.  Off the chart chemistry may be soul mate energy, but it has to simmer.  As most people know, a great pasta sauce or pot of soup needs to simmer once it comes to a boil — all ingredients must blend together.

I remember an acting teacher of mine once said, “Love affairs usually start when a movie begins filming and ends when the film wraps.” She cited several examples of this, however, common decency and ethics prevents me from elaborating further.  Some of these relationships have lasted many years because the couples involved did the work necessary to grow the relationship.

Several of my clients told me, “I think I met my soul mate.  Did I?”

Trying not to laugh, I informed them, “If you have to ask me if he is your soul mate, he most certainly is not.”  In all of these situations, the men (not gentlemen) were using a great line to get what they wanted, and disappeared shortly thereafter.

Another soul mate question I was asked was, “Do you know when I am going to meet my soul mate?”

This lady was already happily married to a wonderful man who was good to her, a terrific father to their children and a hard working man — what we might refer to as a good provider.

I then asked her, “Why do you need a soul mate?  She told me a psychic told her she was going to meet her soul mate.

I asked her, “Why would you destroy a perfectly good marriage?”

She just stared at me dumbfounded.  Apparently it never occurred to her what would happen if she allowed herself to be pursued by this so-called soul mate.

” Just because some fortuneteller told you that you were going to meet your soul mate does not necessarily mean that this person would be good for you.”

There are many people, both men and women, who are looking for their soul mate all the time.  Realistically speaking, if you love someone and they love you back, are you both doing the work to make this relationship grow and last?  If so, forget about looking for a soul mate.

In most cases, that soul mate feeling it is often a very strong chemical attraction.  If you manage to keep your clothes on and take the time to get to know a person, perhaps a few days or weeks later, you will find out who this person really is, and if spending time with them is in your best interests.

In this case, patience, and common sense first … then intuition.

Job Application Question #1

Gentle Readers,

I often receive questions from individuals who ask me if they will get the job they just applied for — online or through some other method. As an intuitive, I take a moment to tune in to see what I can pick up. Often, I feel … nothing.

I then ask them if they had received a phone call or set up an interview yet. In nearly all cases, they just applied for an opening. That would explain why I felt nothing. No one had even reviewed their letter and/or application yet. Often ads for employment, hopefully bona fide job opportunities, will take the human resources department or office manager some time to review. I tell them, “Until someone has actually reviewed your resume, I would not be able to pick up any information for you.”

I suggest that they contact me once they get that email or call for an interview so I may pick up a bit more information from the shift in energy. I would like nothing more than to assist them in winning this job, assuming it is in their highest good.

Please be advised, gentle reader, if you or someone is seeking a job, keep sending out resumes and filling out applications. Do not wait for a response from what seems to be the perfect job. It might take a while for someone to actually read over 100 resumes and still manage their normal workload. In most cases, you might not be given the opportunity to interview for the job. But if you do, I’m always here to look into what you can do to successfully close that interview and empower you to overcome any blockages you might have that could get in your way.

Always use discernment and common sense.

Remember, it is not as easy to get a job as it once was many years ago. Do not give up and keep on applying. Your next, best job awaits you.

Name Calling, Bullying, and Cyberbullying

Gentle Readers,

My recent post on the Lottery elicited a response from a reader “down under” who posted the comment “You’re the Devil.” As you know, I am the Queen of Common Sense and promote myself as a wise woman who uses both wisdom and common sense in my decision-making process as well as promoting the same in others.  This was not an acceptable comment to post.  While I advocate free speech, in my not-so-humble opinion, this comment does not fall under the category of free speech.  Name calling and insults are inappropriate comments under any circumstance.

I sensed that this individual is hurting. If he knew me and called me a “Devil” to my face, I might have been able to understand where he was coming from and what was bothering him.  However, when someone calls anyone a name or bullies them without an explanation, that is just plain rude.  I have had experiences in my life (and career) with “Good Christians” which were not always pleasant.  Many of these Christians are amazing individuals.  They are fantastic people.  However, when it comes to their religious beliefs, some “Good Christians” can be inflexible and lack tolerance of anything that offends them.  I was raised to accept people of every race, religion, etc. as they are — another human being with faults.  Tolerance and understanding was what I learned.  I also learned that even though someone’s beliefs may offend me, they are entitled to their beliefs as long as those beliefs (religious or otherwise) do not hurt another being (human or animal).

This person, may have meant well, from his point of view, but it was nonetheless an inappropriate comment.  He could have said, “You are talking about Tarot cards and they are the ‘Devil’s’ tool.”  He could also have said several other things such as the following:

  • I believe you are an evil person because ________________.
  • Tarot cards are against my religion and/or beliefs.
  • I did not care for what you posted, because _________________.

Instead this person hid behind an insult directed at someone they do not know.

Let’s put this person’s comment in proper perspective.

  1. Strangers constantly bully people and celebrities.  Think about all of the comments that you may have been privy to — hurtful and supportive in the wake of Robin Williams’ recent death.
  2. Every day, someone in the world is dealing with someone who refuses to see any point of view that is not their own.  I refer to them as inflexible and intolerant people.
  3. Cyberbullying allows most people to remain anonymous.  Social media cyberbullying has become very common place.
  4. This behavior is hurtful.

There are many reasons why people call others names, bully and/or cyberbully others.  Rather than think about why someone does this, follow my example and do something to help someone who is being bullied today, and any day you encounter some form of bullying.  In my situation, I am grateful that reader insulted me.  He allowed me the opportunity to write this particular blog entry.  Join the Queen of Common Sense and help stop bullying.

Bless you, Gentle Readers.