Dating – Objectives

Gentle Readers,

The dating game never ceases to amaze me. Every generation has their own unique problems when it comes to finding a partner. It does not matter if you are young or old — people of all ages go through this in their life, unless they don’t want to be with someone. People want what they want, or if they don’t know what they want, they are trying to figure it out. When it comes right down to it, the biggest problem with dating apps is getting enough information from someone’s profile so you can decide if you want to swipe right. I still use dating apps as research, and in the back of my mind, I do not rule out the possibility, when the timing is right, that I will find a good match and we both swipe right. The older you get, the harder it is to find someone. There are more landmines today and people are afraid to trust. I cannot blame them, but I also know if you lead with your trust issue and fears, you are closed and need to really think about if you want to run your life with old baggage.

Yes, EVERYONE has baggage — young and old. Anyone who says they do not have baggage has a different definition than I do. In my not so humble opinion, baggage is life experience — which relates to how someone handles the ups and downs of life. Whether they experienced the loss of a friend or family member, experienced a breakup (or two or more), lost jobs, were rejected for any number of reasons, and had to start all over again (at least once in some area of their life), the fact remains, carry your baggage and don’t let it interfere with your quality of life.

Rather than focus on negativity, if you have not already done so, just shift your thinking and focus on succeeding in the dating game. Yes, it is a game. Life is a game, and the rules change all the time. Just live with honesty and integrity and try to be patient. Once you think you know what you want and need, come up with your dating objective and write it down. Once you get it one paper, you can focus on manifesting the right person for you.

WHAT IS YOUR OBJECTIVE?

What qualities do you want/need in a partner? What are you offering someone? This means, how are you presenting yourself? Am I making sense?

• Embrace your unique self. Don’t try to be like anyone else.
• Choose your pronouns as you see fit and embrace your sexuality.
• Know what you want and the kind of person who will appreciate and understand you, or is willing to take the time to get to know you and understand you.
• Take time to write down what you want so you can have a blueprint to work from. If you don’t know what you want, write down what you don’t want so you can figure it out.
• Don’t live in the past. Live in the present and think about your future. Your will morph and change so if you are in the present, you can anticipate and make positive change and deal with “stuff” with a positive attitude.
• Know what you like when it comes to having sex. You definitely need to know what you want in that part of your relationship. Bad sex or choosing the wrong partner can ruin a relationship. Of course, aging has its own issues, but loving partners can figure things out when health complicates things. Where this is a will, there is a way.
• If you are not monogamous and want an open relationship, or you may be poly, etc. make sure you are clear about that when you are looking for someone.

I feel that dating objectives need to be the first thing on anyone’s list when they think about dating, or want to change the way they approach dating. Yes, there are people who deliberately hurt others. That’s not my opinion, that is a fact. People can be wonderful and people can be cruel. I keep telling people to not give up on finding someone and recommend that the approach dating as an opportunity to learn about themselves and what they want or need in a partner. Don’t waste anyone’s time. You don’t have to say you are honest or looking for someone honest. A wise person once told me that the person who talks about wanting someone honest is often someone who is not honest. But then again, that may not always be the case. Be discerning and trust your intuition.

Oh yes, karma can a bitch. Try to treat others they way you want to be treated. What you put out — comes back to you. I think I may take other dating topics in the future.

Comments and discussion are welcomed.